Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Terry Pratchett Has Ridden Hunt Hirelings...
or maybe staff horses. Adapted from "Moving Pictures":
"Victor was introduced to the horse. It blinked its long eyelashes at him and appeared to chew soap. It looked like a horse that had had a long morning and wasn't about to take any shit from anyone. So far it had kicked three people.
‘What's it called?' he said cautiously.
‘We call it Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch,' said the groom.
‘That doesn't sound like a name.'
‘ ‘S a good name for this horse,' said the handler fervently.
Victor leaned close to the horse and whispered, ‘Look, I'm a friend, OK?'
Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch flicked a carpet-thick ear.
‘How do you ride it?' he asked the groom.
‘When you want to go forward you swear at it and hit it with a stick, and when you want to stop you swear at it and really hit it with a stick.'
‘What happens if you want it to turn?'
‘Ah, well, you're on to the Advanced Manual there."
EMSOAB should be on LOTS of stall nameplates.
"Victor was introduced to the horse. It blinked its long eyelashes at him and appeared to chew soap. It looked like a horse that had had a long morning and wasn't about to take any shit from anyone. So far it had kicked three people.
‘What's it called?' he said cautiously.
‘We call it Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch,' said the groom.
‘That doesn't sound like a name.'
‘ ‘S a good name for this horse,' said the handler fervently.
Victor leaned close to the horse and whispered, ‘Look, I'm a friend, OK?'
Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch flicked a carpet-thick ear.
‘How do you ride it?' he asked the groom.
‘When you want to go forward you swear at it and hit it with a stick, and when you want to stop you swear at it and really hit it with a stick.'
‘What happens if you want it to turn?'
‘Ah, well, you're on to the Advanced Manual there."
EMSOAB should be on LOTS of stall nameplates.
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